City of Ashes Chapter 8 Pt 2: Let's play how many people can CC offend in one chapter!

Part 1 can be found here.

Some fun things!

I've heard that CC's involvement with the Shadowhunters TV series is next to none, so while she's still making money off of it, at least the showrunners have a chance at salvaging this mess. And according to lots of people, they're doing a great job of it.

Also, I found out that Harry Shum Jr. plays Bane in the show and I'm just so... that's everything I could have asked for. It makes me want to watch it.

Right, let's bravely dive into the most infuriating chapter I've read in this series, so far.

They've met up with Isabelle at the entrance to the Seelie court, because we're about to visit the super evil Faerie queen. I mean, we're not told she's evil but... you'll get it in a bit, trust me.

Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. 

Remember her outfit, it's gonna be important in a second.

They walk toward the entrance in a park or marsh or something, and Jace and Simon bicker about why he's there, because they definitely couldn't have done this before they left.

"You don't have to come," Clary said.

Don't be stupid, Clary! He has to so he can stake his claim on you over Jace, your brother, because peeing on you would be too gross. It's better this way.

They reach the edge of the pond and Clary is like, where the hell is this secret entrance.

Isabelle's smile was like a whispered secret. "Follow me."

All right, gird your loins people, because the fuckery starts here and doesn't stop for the next twenty or so pages.

She moved down to the edge of the water, her boots leaving deep impressions in the wet mud. Clary followed, glad she was wearing jeans and and not a skirt as Isabelle hiked her coat and dress up over her knees, leaving her slim white legs bare above her boots.

CC can't seem to figure out what kind of person she wants Isabelle to be-- first, she's a badass who can do whatever the hell she wants with no repercussions, and next, Clary's implying that she makes decisions about her clothes for style over practicality. Maybe it's because, gasp, Isabelle is sexualised and therefore cannot actually ever be rooted for! Not while the wonderful Clary is around.

Jace moved automatically to steady [Simon] as they all turned. Simon jerked his arm back. "I don't need your help."

"Stop it." Isabelle tapped a booted foot in the shallow water at the lake's edge. "Both of you. In fact, all three of  you. If we don't stick together in the Seelie court, we're dead."
"But I haven't--," Clary started.
"Maybe you haven't, but the way you let those two act..."
[ ... ]
"I can't tell them what to do!"
"Why not? [ ... ] Honestly, Clary, if you don't start utilizing a bit of your natural feminine superiority, I just don't know what I'll do with you."

why is CC so determined to make me hate her female characters. 

I HATE THIS. Someone probably read that and was like 'omg Isabelle is so feminist! Yes! Girl Power!' and it's like.... I hate everything about this sentence. Yeah, Clary should stick up for herself and tell them to stop treating her like a chew toy that they both want, but it implies (as has every goddamn piece of media with this trope since the beginning of time) that women are ultimately responsible for the actions of men around them, and if they only used their sexuality or their femininity to control them, this wouldn't be a problem.

Also, nitpicky, but like... they're at Turtle Pond in Central Park. Turtle Pond is many things, but it's certainly not a fucking lake.

pictured: the super secret 'lake' entrance to an underworld. watch out for the tourist groups that come through every hour.

They enter the Seelie court through the moon in the pond, having to actually soak themselves thoroughly before they get into the court. There's some more gross incestual overtones between Jace and Clary, but finally we meet a Faerie in this book universe!

His hair fell in blue-black sheets around a cool, sharp, lovely face; his eyes were green as vines or moss and there was the shape of a leaf, either a birthmark or a tattoo, across one of his cheekbones. He wore an armor of silvery brown like the bark of trees in winter, and when he moved, the armor flashed a multitude of colors: peat black, moss green, ash gray, sky blue. 

Count how many colours are in that paragraph-- there's nine in there. And the stupid part is, I couldn't actually draw for you what this guy looks like because that paragraph is a whole lot of nothing in terms of actual description.

Also, new drinking game in this chapter: drink every time something is described as 'sharp'.

Haha just kidding don't do that, you will die.

Isabelle and this Faerie, Meliorn, are hooking up, by the way. It's not important in terms of plot (lmao what actually is in this book) but I felt it was worth mentioning for the casual slut-shaming that happens because of it.

"It's my motto," said Isabelle, with a sultry smile. "'Nothing less than seven inches.'"
Meliorn gazed at her stonily.
"I'm talking about my heels," she said. "It's a pun. You know? A play on--"
"Come," the faerie knight said.

Oh, Isabelle. Nobody deserves you.

They walk through an antechamber with faeries dancing, it's the same play on Faerie folklore that's been done since forever-- you know, don't dance with faeries because if you do, you'll dance forever and die. Also important, they have the same 'don't eat anything or you're required to stay with the court forever' rule. Then we get to meet the Queen, who's summoned them here to see if they know anything about the death of a Faerie child that happened recently.

She had long scarlet hair that seemed to float around her like autumn leaves in a breeze. Her eyes were clear blue as glass, her gaze sharp as a razor.  

Man I was 1/2. I definitely thought she was gonna be blonde.

Also, presented without comment:

Despite her loveliness, there was nothing fragile about the Queen.  

oh bernadette, you don't deserve to be here.

Jace charms the pants off of her, because there is nothing he can't do, and they sit down with her so she can try and force them to eat food. Clary is a fucking idiot and dips her fingers in her drink, but puts it down. This is important because next she gets bit by a pixie and sucks the blood from the cut.

I BET YOU DON'T SEE WHAT'S COMING NEXT.

They discuss the thing that Voldentine is trying to do--and not surprisingly, the Queen doesn't care as long as no other of her subjects are going to be murdered. She refuses Jace's plea to come help them and is like, 'dude, we really don't care.'

Then, because we need more of an excuse to feel weird about Clary and Jace, the Queen again hammers home that they are siblings in a mysterious way.

"Who would have thought," she said, "that Valentine's little experiments would turn on him? [ ... ] Ask your father, when next you see him, what blood runs in your veins, Jonathan."

Please dear God let it not be Clary's blood.

Regardless, remember how Clary sucked her finger because she got bit? Well...

"Once our food or drink passes mortal lips, the mortal is ours. You know that, Shadowhunter."
[ ... ] [Clary] remembered the sweet taste of the blood, mixed with the juice on her finger. Panicked, she moved toward the vine door, and stopped as what felt like invisible hands shoved her back into the room.
[ ... ] Jace's face was flushed. "I suppose I should have expected a trick like that."

There's some long convoluted explanation about how the Queen wants to study one of the Shadowhunters, and we literally get confirmation in-text about how Super Speshul Clary is:

"In truth, Clarissa Morgenstern, you are precisely the right person. [ ... ] Thanks to the changes your father worked in you, you are not like other Shadowhunters. Your gifts are different."
"My gifts?" Clary was bewildered.

Yeah, no shit Clary, so am I, because so far you've only been gifted at being a huge pain in the butt to everyone and whining about how every girl is so much prettier than you.

"Yours is the gift of words that cannot be spoken," the Queen said to her, "and your brother's is the Angel's own gift. Your father made sure of it, when your brother was a child and before you were ever born."

 Okay, all this aside, we're about to get into the WORST PART OF THIS SERIES SO FAR, so I hope everyone is ready for this bullshit.

"What if I told you she could be freed by a kiss?"

STOP. FORCING. CLARY AND JACE. ON. THE READER.

Gee, I wonder where this is going?  Simon volunteers to kiss her and the Queen is like, lol no that's not what I want, and then they all argue about who's kissing whom in a scene that, quite frankly, belongs in a terrible screenplay. Then, in a twist that SHOCKINGLY EVERYONE FORESAW but no one wanted to actually have happen:

"While this is all very amusing," the Queen said coolly, leaning forward, "the kiss that will free the girl is the kiss that she most desires." [ ... ]
Simon looked as if she had hit him. Clary wanted to reach out to him, but she stood frozen to the spot, too horrified to move. [ ... ]
"That's ridiculous, they're brother and sister."
The Queen shrugged, a delicate twitch of her shoulders. "Desire is not always lessened by disgust. Nor can it be bestowed, like a favor, to the most deserving of it. And as my words bind my magic, so you can know the truth. If she doesn't desire his kiss, she won't be free."

Isabelle angrily says she'd kiss Alec if it meant saving him from staying in the Seelie court, which is all good and fair, but I'm pretty sure you're not attracted to your brother, Isabelle (dear God I hope not). And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is the entire kiss between brother and sister, in all its splendid glory, so that you may cringe as I did when I read it:

She felt the brush of his lips, light at first, and her own opened automatically beneath the pressure. Almost against her will she felt herself go fluid and pliant, stretching upward to twine her arms around his neck the way that a sunflower twists toward light. His arms slid around her, his hands knotting in her hair, and the kiss stopped being gentle and became fierce, all in a single moment like tinder flaring into a blaze. [ ... ] 

Jace's hands moved from her hair, slid down her spine; she felt the hard press of his palms against her shoulder blades--and then he pulled away[.]

pictured: Isabelle, the Queen, Simon, and the Seelie Court during this kiss

If you can slog through the purple prose in this passage, then you will kindly remember that this all happened IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Instead of just going and kissing her and getting it over with, they literally made out for a few seconds in front of Simon, Isabelle, and the entire Seelie court.

Understandably, Simon is super upset, because he just found out his girlfriend of ten hours is actually really horny for her brother. They leave the Seelie court and the chapter ends on Simon leaving without Clary angrily, but I can't be bothered to care because this whole passage made me feel ill.

We'll restart Divergent next week! Until then, happy reading! Hope there's no forced incest in yours!

me too, Kitty.