She lives! And her computer sort of does, too! Chapter 23 + Epilogue of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: Why the fuck didn't y'all tell me there was an epilogue? ALWAYS WARN SOMEONE THERE IS AN EPILOGUE.

actual footage of me

[Here's chapter one if you wanna re-live it!]

Okay, I know. It’s July and I’m finally updating and finishing this novel—I’m so sorry! My computer has hand-to-God been unable to stay on for longer than 2 minutes for the last three months. Thankfully, it happened after exams and final papers, but, still, it was not a fun time. I will most likely have to replace it soon but everyone cross their fingers that it lasts at least another few months!

Here it is, though! The last chapter (unless there’s an epilogue—oh god, is there an epilogue?) of this series.

I just checked, there’s an epilogue. Fuck my life.

sidenote: why is The Nanny not on Netflix yet

Chapter 22 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: This chapter was way too long and I'm never going to forgive this novel.

Hola! I’ve got like three research papers I should be doing but I thought, ‘fuck it, why not do another blog entry?’

And here we are.

So we just left Luke’s weird, long, convoluted story behind and now we get to listen to Fairy talk again (joy upon joys!).

“Say something, Clary.”
“What do you want me to say?”
He sighed. “Maybe that you understand?”

Chapter 21 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: Werewolf McWerewolf and That Time I Included the Kanye Grammy Gif

Heeeeey everyone (including everyone that I know that has told me they read this stupid frickin’ blog and DON’T COMMENT ON IT AT ALL) it’s your favourite time of the week (or like... two three weeks. I’m a student, cut me some slack).

This whole chapter is from Luke’s (Werewolf McWerewolf of the series) point of view. That definitely sounds like a great time and not at all boring—

how I feel about this whole ordeal

Luke begins his story discussing how Fairy’s mom and him were childhood friends.

Chapter 20 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: As If I Needed Another Reason to Ignore My Papers

Hey y’all!

It’s been pointed out to me that the cliffhanger we were left with last time is almost identical to the Harry/Dumbledore/Draco scene in The Lightning Struck Tower, wherein Fairy is immobilised behind a wall, and a betrayal happens in front of her that she does not understand (and that I’m sure later on we will learn was planned or had some noble motive behind it).

I mean it just seems really familiar....

Chapter 19 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: I Got to Use So Many Cat .gifs In This Update, So I'm Really Pleased.

Hello, hello!

We are in the final stages of this book! I have 200 pages of reading in each class on average per week but my god we are going to finish this.

Fairy has just pulled the cup out of the tarot card, and apparently no one is impressed:

Chapter 18 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: Something is Finally Happening! Well, Sort Of.

Hey hey guys! It’s time to find out what kind of overdramatic makeup Fairy, Simon, and Jace are gonna have!

We last left them after Fairy kissed Jace on a rooftop, and then Simon caught them, and it was all very soap opera, oh... and I think there was something about a plot in there somewhere, but I can’t quite remember it.

This chapter switches and is told from Jace’s point of view... I’m sure the author has a great reason for this, and I hope it’s not so that we can get Fairy’s super Special Beauty described to us over and over:

She was clutching her sketchpad, her bright hair escaping out of its braids. He leaned against the door frame, ignoring the kick of adrenaline the sight of her produced. He wondered why, not for the first time. Isabelle used her beauty like she used her whip, but Clary didn’t know she was beautiful at all. Maybe that was why.

Chapter 17 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: The Tragic Hero Backstory Lies Within

Two updates in less than a week and a half?! It’s like I’m Father Christmas or something.

this is like the most obscure friends reference ever but I have faith SOME OF YOU WILL GET IT.

Chapter 16 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: If a YA Novel Doesn't Have a Love Triangle, Does It Really Count as a YA Novel?

I know Julianne Hough is in this gif and that's distracting BUT LOOK AT ALFIE ENOCH AND TELL ME THAT ISN'T THE FUNNIEST FACE EVER.

Hey hey y’all! Exams are done, school is out for the year (until like two weeks from now), and I finally have time to update my blog again!

We left our ‘heroes’ escaping very undramatically from a gang of werewolves and vampires, and then letting Simon mack on her so Jace could have his stoic man!pain.

They get back to The Institution and Hodge is Very Upset With Them:

Chapter 15 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: I just wrote two academic papers and I think my brain might be crying.

First things first:

SERIOUSLY I AM SO SORRY. This semester kicked my ass and not even in a fun, friendly way. It curb-stomped me. I cannot even believe I’m still able to coherently create sentences.

If you don’t remember where we left off (and I don’t blame you) Fairy and Jace had just infiltrated our vampire clan for Simon, and then some werewolves showed up.

Seriously, that’s what happened.

So, yes. Some wolves busted into an old hotel while Fairy and Jace were having a standoff with some vampires, and then the chapter begins with an elementary school lesson of Spanish:

“Los Niños de la Luna,” he hissed. Even Clary, whose Spanish was almost nonexistent, knew what he had said. The Moon’s Children—werewolves.

Yes, thank you for that. Why not just use the actual Spanish word for werewolf?

Chapter 13 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: I can grudgingly admit that I'm enjoying this but I feel like that has everything to do with Magnus Bane.

I have a confession to make: this has been sitting open and unfinished on my laptop for like a week now. I know, I know, I’m sorry, but life got crazy and I couldn’t do anything about it!

We left the last chapter on another underwhelming cliff-hanger, as is the norm in this book, I feel. Again, I wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it if it weren’t for the fact that they’re so soap-opera-esque that it makes the book funny in places there shouldn’t be humour.

There is a teeny tiny rape content warning just for a mention of the word/discussion of it, just as a forewarning.

Chapter 11 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: apparently I just wanted to reference some awesome 90s movies today.

Jace leaned forward and banged his hand against the partition separating them from the cab driver. “Turn left! Left! I said to take Broadway, you brain-dead moron!”

And this is how the 11th chapter of this wondrous book opens up—our romantic hero abusing a service worker—sooooo charming, right ladies? I’m sure we’re all just falling over ourselves to find someone like him.

Basically, Jace wants breakfast and he wants it now. I don’t get this—we literally left off with Clary finding out someone really fucking powerful left a block in her brain and it’s up to her to figure it out so she can find her mother, and yet here we are listening to Jace invite the whole freaking gang out for breakfast because... why? Does this scene need to happen?