Chapter 17 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: The Tragic Hero Backstory Lies Within

Two updates in less than a week and a half?! It’s like I’m Father Christmas or something.

this is like the most obscure friends reference ever but I have faith SOME OF YOU WILL GET IT.

Chapter 16 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: If a YA Novel Doesn't Have a Love Triangle, Does It Really Count as a YA Novel?

I know Julianne Hough is in this gif and that's distracting BUT LOOK AT ALFIE ENOCH AND TELL ME THAT ISN'T THE FUNNIEST FACE EVER.

Hey hey y’all! Exams are done, school is out for the year (until like two weeks from now), and I finally have time to update my blog again!

We left our ‘heroes’ escaping very undramatically from a gang of werewolves and vampires, and then letting Simon mack on her so Jace could have his stoic man!pain.

They get back to The Institution and Hodge is Very Upset With Them:

Chapter 15 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: I just wrote two academic papers and I think my brain might be crying.

First things first:

SERIOUSLY I AM SO SORRY. This semester kicked my ass and not even in a fun, friendly way. It curb-stomped me. I cannot even believe I’m still able to coherently create sentences.

If you don’t remember where we left off (and I don’t blame you) Fairy and Jace had just infiltrated our vampire clan for Simon, and then some werewolves showed up.

Seriously, that’s what happened.

So, yes. Some wolves busted into an old hotel while Fairy and Jace were having a standoff with some vampires, and then the chapter begins with an elementary school lesson of Spanish:

“Los Niños de la Luna,” he hissed. Even Clary, whose Spanish was almost nonexistent, knew what he had said. The Moon’s Children—werewolves.

Yes, thank you for that. Why not just use the actual Spanish word for werewolf?

Chapter 14 of The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones: Now with added self-loathing and token minorities!

Hey guys! So I’ve been a bit MIA because I’m moving in two weeks and just finished that lovely season of University where you’re handing in essays and doing midterms. I have a bit of a break right now (I use the term break lightly) and I thought, why not read another chapter!

Chapter 14 is called “The Hotel Dumort” which is a cute French pun, but also kinda annoying when you realise she named the vampire hideout that.

I’m thinking about skipping her long paragraphs of travelling description, but I feel like that will be cheating a bit, so I’ll suffer through them for you.

Chapter 13 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: I can grudgingly admit that I'm enjoying this but I feel like that has everything to do with Magnus Bane.

I have a confession to make: this has been sitting open and unfinished on my laptop for like a week now. I know, I know, I’m sorry, but life got crazy and I couldn’t do anything about it!

We left the last chapter on another underwhelming cliff-hanger, as is the norm in this book, I feel. Again, I wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it if it weren’t for the fact that they’re so soap-opera-esque that it makes the book funny in places there shouldn’t be humour.

There is a teeny tiny rape content warning just for a mention of the word/discussion of it, just as a forewarning.

Chapter 12 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: This chapter was mercifully short and I'm pleased with that, at least.

School just started so I bet I’m gonna go a week without updating this but I’m gonna try really hard not to! They really only take about an hour, mainly because I’m usually so busy trying actively to not read it, because it sucks.

Remember how at the end of the next chapter I told you that I bet the beginning of this chapter would start with them travelling to this party? Guess what:

They made their way from the subway station, Isabelle navigating with the Sensor, which seemed to have a sort of mapping system built in.

just imagine these as all of my facial expressions while reading this book from now on.

Chapter 11 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: apparently I just wanted to reference some awesome 90s movies today.

Jace leaned forward and banged his hand against the partition separating them from the cab driver. “Turn left! Left! I said to take Broadway, you brain-dead moron!”

And this is how the 11th chapter of this wondrous book opens up—our romantic hero abusing a service worker—sooooo charming, right ladies? I’m sure we’re all just falling over ourselves to find someone like him.

Basically, Jace wants breakfast and he wants it now. I don’t get this—we literally left off with Clary finding out someone really fucking powerful left a block in her brain and it’s up to her to figure it out so she can find her mother, and yet here we are listening to Jace invite the whole freaking gang out for breakfast because... why? Does this scene need to happen?