City of Ashes Chapter 12: there was some wine involved

So I might have got a bit tipsy and decided to write (some) of this recap--maybe it'll make me funny? Maybe it'll just make it more difficult to edit, who knows!

The triumphant return and chapter 11 of City of Ashes!

Hello, hello!

A few things to say--first of all, I'm so sorry for abandoning this for nearly two years. Well, I say abandonment, but in reality, I always sort of knew I'd be putting this blog on hold while I travelled to Australia (click here if you'd like to read about my shenanigans there).

The point is, I'm back, and I have time to read again! And write snarky things! And boy, oh boy, do I have a lot of snark in me right now. In terms of projects, I will continue with The Mortal Instruments (because my hatred of Cassandra Clare still runs so, so deep), but I'll also be starting a new series come June!

As many of my friends know, I have a really deep-seated hatred for the literary canon; specifically, I'm really mad about what is still consistently taught in high schools and lower-level university courses as 'classic' literature while completely ignoring other seminal works that are often (read: always) more diverse.

So, starting this June, I will also be revisiting novels and stories that I studied in high school and university, discussing whether or not I think they need to be retired from the curriculum, and suggesting ones that can perhaps replace them. I will, of course, also continue the book reviews on my GoodReads of the books I'm reading right now as well.

I have a few other ideas up my sleeve, but at the moment those are the two I'm most sure will be happening, so stick around!

And now, of course, on to the recap!

City of Ashes Chapter 10: I'm not saying I'm sick of vampires-- wait, no, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Maybe I'm being unfair to this chapter, because I got a bit tricked into reading a romance novel between a vampire and a witch the other day (why can't I just have my witchy paranormal novels? Why can't that be the next trend?!), but god I am sick to death of them.

Pun intended.

me when people tell me about the new vampire YA novels out

Not only that, but Cassandra Clare has named this chapter after my favourite line in one of my favourite poems ever, which has tainted it forever and I'm a bit pissy about it. I'm not trying to be elitist about it, it's a very popular and common poem, but seriously, why.

Anyway, onwards!

City of Ashes, Chapter 9: Plot Twist of the Century (that everyone saw coming)

After last week's sheer ridiculousness with Divergent, I can't believe I'm actually happy to return to City of Ashes. I'll say lots of terrible things about CC and the writing, but at least she managed to make a semi-compelling story (albeit a partly plagiarised one).

As you will remember, Clary and Jace kissed at the end of the last chapter, and then Simon ran home crying and retching once he realised his girlfriend was in love with her brother.

artist's rendition of Simon after leaving the Seelie Court

City of Ashes Chapter 8 Pt 2: Let's play how many people can CC offend in one chapter!

Part 1 can be found here.

Some fun things!

I've heard that CC's involvement with the Shadowhunters TV series is next to none, so while she's still making money off of it, at least the showrunners have a chance at salvaging this mess. And according to lots of people, they're doing a great job of it.

Also, I found out that Harry Shum Jr. plays Bane in the show and I'm just so... that's everything I could have asked for. It makes me want to watch it.

Right, let's bravely dive into the most infuriating chapter I've read in this series, so far.

City of Ashes Chapter 8 Pt 1: Why do you like to watch me suffer?

Lots has happened since I posted! For starters, I've been actually reading books I want to read instead of Divergent and TMI, so that explains the lack of recaps. Uh, also, I have like two jobs (plus a third if you count my nannying), so I'm usually down for the count when I get home from those.

Everyone: hey update ur blogs

me:

Being an adult is hard, you guys. And this chapter is like, torturously long. Like, 'why are you making me suffer' kind of long.

Onwards!

City of Ashes, Chapter 7: It got really nice out where I am so I went outside instead of doing this

Look, I could give you a long-ass explanation as to why this is so damn late, but I’m gonna be honest with y’all… I got nothin’.

We last left our gang of fearful leaders as they were exiting the City of Convenient Plot Points, AKA the Silent City, where a whole race of people were just eradicated. I’m not even kidding; every single Silent Brother was just straight-up murdered.

So, on that light note, let the recap begin!

City of Ashes, Chapter 6: Last week there was no incest, this week...

Hey hey! Lots has happened since I last posted, so hopefully you’ll forgive my absence. But I’m officially a holder of a BA in English!

I like to think this adds some sort of merit to these reviews; in reality it makes me seem a little more pretentious, and I think I’m okay with that.

Fairy’s got her first tattoos, and now they’re off to fight the bad guys without Adult Supervision because they are Young Strong Teens who don’t need the help of anyone over seventeen.

what is the difference between Ariel and Clary? We just don't know.

City of Ashes, Chapter 4: I had to look up Dane Cook for this recap, so you're welcome.

You guys. YOU GUYS. I finished my undergraduate degree. From here on end I can read and write whatever I want and not feel guilty about it at all!

[nervously hides Grad School applications]

SO. I had said previously I would be going back to updating City of Ashes on the blog. The reason? I think they were funnier in this format. So my youtube channel will be reviews and stuff for a bit, but I’m figuring it out. Sit tight.

It’s been so long since I’ve read this book (and I’ve read so many other white male authors that CC is starting to look enticing) so I had to peek back at the last chapters but I’m caught up.

Basically, Jace is awaiting his trial by sword because he discovered that he's Voldentine's son and not Jace Wayland? Basically his parents thought they were raising their best friend's kid but they were actually raising the son of an evil mass murderer.

it's been 84 years and I can still hear the musical cue after I read this