City of Ashes, Chapter 7: It got really nice out where I am so I went outside instead of doing this

Look, I could give you a long-ass explanation as to why this is so damn late, but I’m gonna be honest with y’all… I got nothin’.

We last left our gang of fearful leaders as they were exiting the City of Convenient Plot Points, AKA the Silent City, where a whole race of people were just eradicated. I’m not even kidding; every single Silent Brother was just straight-up murdered.

So, on that light note, let the recap begin!

Chapter 7 of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: Fairy is the worst friend in existence.

I think weekly is the easiest way to update this, so let’s go with every Thursday/Friday (until that stops working because I have the dumbest schedule). I’m really hangry right now and waiting for pasta to boil so let’s take out some misplaced anger on the book:

They’re shown into the apartment with really vague ~mystical~ descriptions of what it looks like (if you’re picturing every fortune tellers apartment from 90s TV shows then you are absolutely correct). We also get to find out that Madame D (as she will henceforth be known) dabbles in literally every cultures’ kind of fortune-telling, which reads less as Madame D knowing her shit and more as CC just googling ‘fortune telling’ and mashing everything she could find into this one character.

Anyway, Mme D asks if they want tea and we get possibly the funniest (and not intentionally so) passage so far in this book. I’m not lying when I tell you I cackled with glee when I read it:

“I’ll have tea,”
[ ... ]
Jace succumbed. “All right. As long as it isn’t Earl Grey,” he added, wrinkling his fineboned nose. “I hate bergamot.”
Madame Dorothea cackled loudly and disappeared back through the bead curtain, leaving it swaying gently behind her.

Mme D is me, you guys. She’s me.